Downsize your holiday plans (if you need to).
There’s no animated special about holiday burnout.
The period between Thanksgiving and January 1st can be overwhelmingly stressful. It’s a perfect storm of short, gloomy days and overheated social obligations. The upcoming holiday season may look more daunting than usual this year, too. Many of us are barely coping after almost two years of pandemic stress, and we all have different levels of acceptable covid risk tolerance.
Some of us may have family members pressuring us to have “normal” holiday celebrations before we’re ready to do so. Others of us may crave a return to all of our favorite traditions, full-speed ahead. Some of us may be dealing with new schisms in our families, and some of us are grieving. I’m willing to bet that a lot of us are feeling more tender than usual.
Let’s take a deep breath.
Here’s a slightly uncomfortable truth: You can always say no to a proposed holiday plan. Yes, sometimes saying no will hurt someone’s feelings. But we all have limits. You are allowed to scale back your holiday season in any way that feels right to you.
You have no obligation to host extended family if you need a break this year. You can scale back gift-giving or get everyone impersonal gift cards if you don’t have the time or inclination to do a lot of shopping. You can host a potluck instead of preparing a seven-course meal from scratch. You can skip traveling. You don’t have to put up any decorations if you don’t feel like it. However, if any of these choices are unusual for you, you do need to be willing to have a few uncomfortable conversations. Although some people may be disappointed, it’s also possible that many of your loved ones are as stressed as you are. They may be relieved that you brought it up first!
When you say no to holiday obligations you don’t enjoy, you make more time for the ones you love most. You can still bake your favorite holiday treats, sing your favorite carols, or attend midnight mass -- whatever you genuinely value. Many of us enjoy secular holiday celebrations, but if you practice a religious tradition with a winter holiday, you could focus more on that than on acquiring shiny objects. (Just like Linus taught Charlie Brown, right?)
Challenge:
I urge you to be realistic about your holiday obligations this year. Take a good look at your calendar and your gift list and scale back where necessary. I challenge you to prioritize only the holiday activities you hold dear. Be sure to give yourself plenty of opportunities to rest, too. If you’re wary about cutting out too many things, I challenge you to schedule only a single holiday activity on any given day. Give yourself the gift of moderation this year. Fill your holiday season with joy instead of frenzy.
Extra Credit:
Many of us have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving. Between the holiday’s problematic mythology and difficulties with extended family members, the annual American feast day has a lot of baggage! However, giving thanks -- as in expressing gratitude -- is worthwhile. I challenge you to spend some time this week thinking about the people and things that you’re most grateful for this year. At its best, Thanksgiving can be a time to count our blessings and thank folks who have made our lives better. Cultivating gratitude can help to alleviate stress and can snowball into other positive effects over time, too. It’s a beneficial practice any time of the year, not just during the holidays, but Thanksgiving seems a particularly appropriate time to start.