I have wrangled with my perfectionist tendencies for a long time, and I’ve missed so many opportunities and have spent long periods burdened by overwhelming anxiety due to my perfectionism. Though I still have good days and bad days, I’ve made progress over the years, and I’m a lot more comfortable than I used to be.
Here are six general strategies that have worked well for me:
Allow yourself to take chances and make mistakes. You can unlearn a perfectionist tendency by practicing imperfection. Try something new and accept that you won’t do it perfectly. You don’t have to be an expert at everything. Pick something you’re curious about and try it out without pressure.
Practice self-compassion. Would you criticize a friend or loved one for doing something less than perfectly? Give yourself the same understanding.
Relax your standards. You will fail 100% of the time if you hold yourself to an impossible standard. Don’t get me wrong; I believe in striving for improvement and reaching for challenging goals. But there is a distinction between difficult and unattainable, and you need to recognize self-sabotage. Try to be flexible and let go.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison can be toxic, especially in the context of social media. People present only a tiny, curated slice of their lives online. You don’t see their actual circumstances or the context outside of the photos and posts they publish. You may find it beneficial to curate your social media feeds to inspire you rather than remind you of your perceived shortcomings.
Focus on the process rather than the outcome. You may find it easier to stop worrying about the end product if you can keep your attention on the activity of making it. This strategy has worked especially well for me in creative endeavors, but it’s also helpful with work projects.
Celebrate all of your successes, even the tiny ones. So many of us are so busy focusing on flaws in our work that we ignore our achievements. Try self-praise rather than self-criticism. Do your best to recognize a victory, no matter how small. (I especially recommend the What-Went-Well practice outlined in this post.)
This list is only a beginning, and perfectionism can take many forms. Some of us refuse to start anything for fear we will fail, and some of us manage to do great things while only seeing the shortcomings in our own work. But the truth is that sometimes good enough truly is good enough. It isn’t easy to let go of perfectionism, but it’s worth it. I encourage you to try.
Challenge:
No challenge again this week. I’m currently plowing through my busiest work period of the year, so I’m more pressed for time than usual. However, If you also struggle with perfectionism, please feel free to start applying the above strategies to your own life. This week’s material will probably not apply to everyone, so as always, please take what works for you and discard the rest.